Today was the school’s annual Terry Fox Run. Every year I participate. Terry Fox ran half-way across Canada with an artificial leg to raise money for cancer research.
Why do I run?
I run because I can. I run because I know. I run because I will.
Will – Today you take the victory, but I’m not going to give up. I don’t want to beat you, I want to be equal.
I have a sore throat, a plugged nose, and an ear ache. I got 4 hours sleep last night.
I used to enjoy school, I could go and sit for an entire day, pretending to work, without actually doing anything, and still get through with great marks. Not anymore. I just have too many courses to keep track of.
I need to finish a Social Studies 10 essay and write the final exam before Thanksgiving.
I need to finish the rest of English 10 by Christmas so that I can write the Government exam in January.
I need to finish Science 10 by March and do my exam in April.
I want to finish Mathematics 11P some time in May (no exam).
I want to finish Music Composition and Technology 11 some time before May.
I want to finish Visual Arts 10G in April/May.
I have to finish Social Studies 11 in May, exam is in June.
I have to finish French 12 in May, exam is in June.
I also have Japanese 11B, Physical Education 10, and Planning 10.
I had Art today, since I missed the first class due to an assembly. I know a few people in my class. In fact, there’s one person in my class that I was hoping would be in more of my classes, but at least that person’s in one of my classes.
We had to draw what we were feeling; I drew my brain being squashed by textbooks. I have no energy.
I want the world to stop.
The stupid school computer system.
I’m taking Japanese 11B Mondays first block. My french teacher’s schedule recently changed, so that my French 12 class was also at that block. The computer couldn’t handle to conflict; so it dropped me out of French 12.
Now I have to go and get a new Franch 12 class created just for me because some stupid computer program (written in Java I should add [gross!]) can’t deal with conflicts.
Aside from that, my counsellors also told me that they won’t switch my Social Studies 11 markers, and that I should “live with it”.
I feel so burned out by school this year. I have no free time, and there’s pressure everywhere.
Listening to: “Learn to be Lonely” – Phantom of the Opera
I have no free time.
School is devouring my life.
People always look at things in a very shallow way. I hear people talking about their friends are hanging out with someone else, or their parents wouldn’t let them have a cellphone. Does it really matter in the whole?
There is a war going on here people (and I don’t mean the one in the Middle East)! Forget your little problems and try to understand the bigger things.
But I know that they won’t.
I can never forget the bigger picture, it’s always there, ruling everything that I do. Every word that I say is carefully picked to try and benefit the world. Time is so fluid and there isn’t mich of it left.
I wish I could forget sometimes, be like other people and worry about little things like friends and pets and food. But I don’t have that option.
Wow, I completely lost all sentence structure in there. But you know what, I just don’t care anymore.
Some people don’t dream because it would be impossible; others don’t dream because they fear it is true. I dream because I have no choice but to accept the truth.
Life is complicated.
It was nice to see everyone again, interact with them. But none of them really know. Don’t understand.
Back to the grind, back to TA. I’ve only got 10 spare blocks this year, I got all 10 courses that I applied for. Plus Latin on the side.
Talked to some people, one of my friends beat me by one mark on the Mathematics 10P Provincial Exam. I’m always competitive with marks.
Seeing everyone again; Everything that has happened, that will happen… It’s lonely in a way. Everything has a way of affecting things. Things are changing too fast. Alliances, betrayals…
What can Grade 10 bring?
I promise to update this more when school starts.
I’ve been busy with Plasma for the last while and trying to figure out the hidden CyanChat commands.
*sigh* Why must everything good come to an end?!